Relationship Guide To A Happy Marriage
I was recently discussing a so called “relationship problem” that has a young female.
She’s 35 years old and though she reveals that she desperately wanted to become married with children at this point, it hasn’t happened.
This relationship goal of hers is actually her target for just a dozen years, and yearly that “happily ever after” life has eluded her she has developed more unhappier with her life.
She complains that all of the single men that she meets turn out to be “losers”.
(Another unhappy relationship pattern of hers is an angry rage pattern of verbal attack that she explodes into when her expectations aren’t met in a relationship.)
I tried explaining to her that the longer she waits for her life to improve her psychological state, the pattern of her of unhappiness grows more and deeper engrained. Which means that she will feel more and more trapped in unhappiness under all the situations.
She insisted that her unhappiness is an outcome of her not being in a loving relationship and she carried on to blame the anger of her and melancholy on the men who have let the down of her.
This point of view of hers represents what we can call UNCONDITIONAL unhappiness.
I told her, “While you think that your despondency will immediately lift up if you can just enjoy a happy marriage, you would discover very fast that the sorrow of yours and anger returns even in case you did meet man of the dreams of yours. Why? Because your negative emotional pattern is habitual.”
As long as we make our unhappiness someone else’s responsibility, and blame it on our life conditions, we enhance an unhappy attitude that looks progressively inescapable.
Another factor at play here has to do with the so-called “losers” she’s drawing.
So long as we stay in a bad emotional state, we really cannot attract or even find positive, mentally healthy people to bond with.
We repel sentimentally healthy folks on a conscious or subconscious level, since our attitude problem “radiates” and others “pick up on” the bad emotional imbalance we live in.
Do YOU are afflicted by UNCONDITIONAL unhappiness?
The way out begins as you take responsibility for your emotional reactions and attitudes toward life and toward people, instead of regarding your circumstances or maybe another person as responsible for how you feel.
The next step is examining the perceptions of yours and mental states until you realize how the negativity of yours, not your circumstances, is really all that is short in just how between you and happiness.
The 3rd action will be to persistently and patiently work on being more conscious of your thoughts and the attitudes of yours, therefore you are able to practice being a little LESS angry and unhappy and free yourself from the habit of unhappiness, little by small, each day.
As an outcome, you are going to find the life of yours to be considerably more appealing only the way that it is, you will draw in “better” men and women into your life, and also you will be emotionally stable and resilient in case you do find a true “winner” of a mate for a more healthy, happier marriage.